The Hollywood Man

Daniel the Hollywood Man

  Hello. The Lone Wolf asked me to write a “bio” for reasons unknown. I’ve come to terms it is best to indulge him. There’s less screaming that way. Lets see. Where to start. My name is Daniel Patrick Lynch. I’m from St. Paul, Minnesota, the lesser Twin. All my life I’ve been fascinated with movies and I was determined to break into the industry whichever way I could. Dreams of writing, directing, or acting didn’t work out, but that’s probably for the best. Lets see, I’ve never done one of these before so I’m not sure exactly what to put.

  The Wolf has suggested I write something about my “powers”. The thing is I don’t have any powers. I wouldn’t even say I’m good at most things except dealing with people. I’ve always been a people person. That’s probably why I ended up where I ended up. Make sure the creative people are happy and running at full steam. It has perks, but mostly it is just exhausting. People have no CLUE how high maintenance these “very important persons” are. Even the relatively sane ones are completely insane. I’m rambling though, as I tend to do when I am doing something idiotic. Let’s see. My favorite film is Goodfellas. The Lone Wolf has never heard of Goodfellas, neither has the Wolf Pack. They haven’t heard of most movies, but I’m not going to let that bother me.

  Jesus, this bio has become some kind of James Joyce stream of consciousness mess. I have no idea what I’m supposed to write here. I don’t need a bio. I don’t need a bio. I don’t need a bio. I enjoy baseball and pizza with pesto, and I hate dogs.

(the Lone Wolf attaches this stat sheet)

Name: Daniel the Hollywood Man
Height: Regular(??)
Weight: 180
Powers: The power to get me a movie deal!

Weaknesses: Trouble looking at swastikas
Other facts: I have only known the Hollywood man for a few days but I consider him my best friend. Also, I do not think he likes the poor. I am not sure. But I suspect.

Daniel the Hollywood Man