My Nazi

Eric Pardal, webcomic character

  Hello all! My name is Eric Pardal, and I’m going to give you a crash course in Eric 101. Usually when I write these things (Black Snow has made me do this numerous times) I get billed as the Anti-Nazi. But I realize that I’m getting older and my original intent seems lost in translation nine times out of ten anyway, so it’s just plain ol’ Eric now. The Anti-Nazi is being retired. Don’t get me wrong. I’m still an avowed pacifist (and thus, still an anti-Nazi in spirit) and will continue to be so. However what I’m doing here is following my first dream. Writing. The written word is a beautiful thing. So beautiful I can’t really comprehend, but I’m eager to show the world that I have talent. I don’t understand why the Lone Wolf has brought me on to adapt his autobiogaphy. I can’t see him letting me make any significant changes. That in turn leads to the question of why I’ve agreed to sign on to this disastrous venture. There are a few reasons. Foremost, I needed a change. Whether I wanted to admit it or not, Detroit is not a very happening place. I’ve lived here most of my life and it has consistently sucked the life out of me. Odd that I didn’t realize I felt that way until I wrote that sentence. But it is true and the Lone Wolf in his clumsy luckwisdom gave me a chance to escape.

  Secondly, this may be my only chance. I don’t want to be sixty years old thinking about the chance I had but didn’t go for. The idea of that is the most awful thing in the world to me. I will probably be thinking about that alone in my apartment, body riddled with diseases, with a penis that no longer works and just a few strands of wispy hair. I may have a cat, but I suspect that’s as far as the happiness goes. This is the time, this is the moment. Lastly I just wanted to be impulsive!

  Here are some things you should know about me in no particular order: My favorite movie is Hud, followed by Casablanca, Fitzacaraldo, Rumble Fish, and Jason and the Argonauts. My dad took me to see it in the theaters when they had a film festival. It was the last time we went to the movies before he had a massive heart attack. To this day every time I see Jason and the Argonauts (any scene) I tear up a little. A guilty pleasure film I enjoy is Starship Troopers. I don’t think people get this movie. If we ever do make it to Hollywood I’m going to try to track down Paul Verhoeven just to tell him I “got it” and maybe ask him what the deal was with Showgirls. I enjoy music of all kinds, mostly of the indie rock persuasion. My favorite bands of the moment are Pavement, Titus Andonicus (no longer just a Shakepseare play no one has seen!), and Pedro the Lion.

I hate the work of Nicholas Sparks. As for novels I will read anything, but prefer European writers, Kundera, Kafka, Camus, and Sarte all got me through High School and never left my bookshelf. I like to make pasta. It’s the only thing I can make really. I had a C average in High School, but I got A’s in college. I am a veteran, but don’t ask about that. I am in love with a woman who thinks of me as a friend. That probably has no place here. This is the worst bio I have ever written. My motto for the new move to Hollywood? Victory or Death.

Lone Wolf editorial note:

(My, the Nazi can really type! I am thinking of just deleting all his words and putting a picture of him smiling, with his arm waving and a camera around his neck. As if he were a tourist. He does not mention this in his bio, but he is a reasonably short man. I don’t know why he would leave that out.)

Eric (formerly the Anti-Nazi